Dear #Mozilla & Microsoft haters. Knock off the bullshit with #Windows10

It NEVER ends & somehow NEVER gets old. So with the launch of windows 10 comes the launch of Microsoft’s new browser, Edge. For all of the bitching & complaining about Internet Explorer, you’d think there would be fireworks and dancing in the streets for its demise. After almost 20 years, Microsoft’s Internet Explorer has been killed… by Microsoft & when it’s above 50% market share. Not killed by Opera, not Chrome & sure as fuck not Firefox.

Speaking of the devil, Mozilla is butthurt because of something. What I don’t know or care about anymore. Some bloggers are saying Mozillas panties are in a bunch because the defaults after the windows 10 update switch to Microsoft’s apps. Others are saying the 1 or 2 extra clicks are to hard for users to figure out. Either way I don’t care.

It’s not that hard to set a different browser as the default. As soon as a browser installs your prompted as to whether to keep using edge or switch. I’ve gotten prompted twice after installing Opera. And in settings, all you have to do is type default and you can get to it. It’s not hard AT ALL unless your brain dead. To which I guess that’s most of firefoxs customer base.

Most people aren’t having this default problem because they don’t click express install. Others didn’t even know this was an issue. But this is the internet. If 5% of people complain about something then that means the world is coming to an end. Why doesn’t anyone complain that changing the browser default in iOS is not at all an option? That’s somehow ok. 1 or 2 extra clicks to change the default ANYTHING in windows and it’s a call for a public hanging. People complaining about the defaults on an OS is ridiculous and stupid. You don’t hear about tire companies complaining or suing car companies. If a tech company is more whiny than a tire company, then they should just close their doors.

Funny their name is Firefox. A Firefox was a real thing. Every now and then a forest would catch fire. Of the many woodland animals that would run from the blaze would be foxs’. Many of which would still be ON FIRE. They’d run out of the flames and into wooden villages, setting them on fire. Hence the term, FIREFOX. I’m reminded of this everytime I load Firefox on my otherwise fine PC only to see the CPU want to die and programs crawl then crash even after I close Firefox out.

But then there are the Microsoft haters. Sorry! I mean Micro$oft haters, jumping into defend poor Mozilla. Yeah really? Microsoft! That evil company that when a blogger from Gizmodo got their hands on a prototype iPhone left in a bar, they sent Jack booted police into their homes then banned them from their conferences. Oh wait, that was Apple. I mean that evil company scooping up private Wi-Fi data while mapping. Oh wait, that was Google. You mean that Hitler-esqe Microsoft with Chinese slave labor that jumps out of windows because they work 18 hr days? Nope, that was Apple. Wait, I mean that evil Microsoft that made Ellen DeGeneres apologize the day after she made an Apple parody ad on her show. No wait, that was also Apple. I mean the Microsoft that sued the city of NYC over the the nickname the big apple. Nope, that wasn’t Microsoft either.

I guess I’m not talking about the Microsoft founded by the guy running around the world getting rid of malaria & HIV, funding a new condom, giving pretty much all his money to charitable organizations (doing much of it now before he dies. Beats the shit out of Steve Jobs who couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge his own daughters existence without a fight. Let alone donate to charity. His wife and Tim cook did that in his name after he died.), was the FIRST major tech company to publicly support glbtq equality & was a major, early investor in Facebook? Which evil Microsoft are people talking about? And oh, really? Micro$oft? Because Apple & Google just toss iPhones and Google Glass out of the side of a truck for free right?

You know what, I take it all back. This browser issue isn’t a whiny, first world, white person problem. This is worse than when the barista at Starbucks misspells my name on my $6 coffee. The EU should break up Microsoft for having a monopoly. Because Google doesn’t have a search or mobile monopoly & Apple doesn’t have a media distribution monopoly? And it’s not like Mozilla had ever changed search defaults in their browser right? Sataya Nadellas head should be mounted on a pike. How dare they include a browser with their own OS. If I want a browser, I’ll order one on a cd or floppy disk via toll free number. Or they could give me the same browser choice that the EU made them offer but then everyone just ignored.

And that analogy I made about car companies and tires. I should have unfettered user choice everywhere. I’m going to march down to my local Ford dealer, buy a Mustang but then demand they fit it with monster truck tires. I don’t want their 18 in firestone Bullshit. It’s my choice. And I’m genuinely concerned as a customer of Brangelina movies that they have a monopoly. I’m gonna sue and make them take turns being married to me. In the EU court I’m seriously sure I would win.


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